I’M NOT A COWARD

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Sometimes, life brings sad and gloomy moments for me. My heart sinks in the ocean of despair. My mind stands still with its mouth agape. My limbs turn handicapped. Seems I have nervous disorder. I feel lonely. I feel feel helpless. I try to be an escapist. I snatch my sheet from the bed and cover myself, from head to toe. I search for an abode in my deep slumber. I try hard and usually it avails nothing. I blame God. Why did He arranged such an unbearable condition for me?

AFTER A CONTINUOUS WRESTLING FOR 2 HOURS
Thanks God. You showed some mercy. I’m in deep slumber as I desired.

AFTER TWO AND A HALF HOURS
Am I my body? No, I’m a separate entity. No, I’ve gone insane.Maybe this is called hallucination. My God, I’m flying now! Yes! I’m soaring high in the sky. Like a hawk high in the sky. Like a seagull over the ocean. But where am I going? What’s this? Seems just like that palace I watched recently in a cartoon film. Lo! The door is opening voluntarily. A gush of wind enters behind me and has pushed me inside. My eyes are flashed. I’m unable to see now. Slowly, the light is reducing. I can open my eyes now. What a majestic personality! His beard like silver.
Eyes radiant but as cool as the moonlight. A shining crown on his head. His white rob, whiter than white. I’m scared. I’m to pee in my pyjamas. He opens his mouth. His lips split. He speaks and His voice seems like cool sea breeze.
“You’re scared, aren’t you?”He talks slowly. I couldn’t speak. “I’m your real father. I’m the father of your father and of your grandfather also.I have made this world and you are my sons.” I can’t understand anything. My legs are trembling. “Come here.” He says again. Should I go there or not? I should go otherwise I’m gonna die soon!

AFTER 4 OR 5 MINUTES
I’m sitting on his lap with my head leaning over his chest. How did this happen, I don’t know.
I feel so cozy right now. Never felt such a touch. It’s more soothing than the touch of my sweetheart.
” Why do you fear?” He asks. I’m weak, feeble. I reply back. He folds the sleeves of his robe just over his wrist. “Look inside.” He points toward His wrist. There is a tiny hole on his wrist. My God! It’s so deep, deeper than the Pacific Ocean! The red currents are visible there. It must be His blood for sure, I think. “This is Life Blood.When I create people, I pour my Life Blood in their veins.It aches a lot but I do this so that you can be like me” Like you? I’m left unreplied. ” Yes, you’re not weak.you’re my child nurtured with my Life Blood.You can win every battle because my Life Blood runs into your veins. Don’t be a coward. A father can’t see his son being a coward. Be a warrior. Fight. Struggle. You’ll win. If it’s impossible then I’m a liar. My world is a lie and you’re a lie. Fight my son,fight!” I’m stuck.

A SHORT WHILE AFTER…..
I grope my body in panick. Yes, I’m in my body. The same familier sound echoes in my ears, “fight my son, fight.”

AT 7 A.M. IN THE MORNING
I may stumble. I may even fall down but I’m going to win the race of my life, finally, because I am the God’s Child.

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7 thoughts on “I’M NOT A COWARD

  1. My mouth is wide open. This what YOU wrote is SO powerful and there is SO MUCH TRUTH in it, do you know this? Is this a real life experience that you had? I am stunned. Speechless. You are incredible. And YOU think you need maturity? Uh uh. Not by a long shot. Your writing has left me enthralled, enraptured, captured by the images you portray. Wow. Just Wow. xx Amy

    • Thank you so much for your comments. Amy, I’m from India. My name is Himanshu which is a synonym to the Hindu Moon God. You can check out in the ‘ About me’ section of my blog, where you wil find a little extra information about me.

      ‘I’m not a coward’ post is just my imagination. I’ll not lie to you because you are my friend. I don’t believe in god. My mom always scolds me for this because it’s unbearable for a traditional Hindu family.

      • Well, Himanshu, thank you for being honest with me. That means a lot to me and says a lot about you. I don’t understand how you cannot believe in a Higher Power especially when you see that absolute power and beauty in the flowers I photograph. This is what I believe. I believe that we are ALL a part of this Higher Power, or Source, and through our thoughts, words, and actions create here on Earth. I believe we all have the potential to remember how powerful we are and to begin to learn how to create within that power. I don’t believe in a God there and we here. I believe “God” is everything and everywhere. It is man who has brought and wrought such distruction to this beautiful planet.

        I also “feel energy” and I “feel” a pure heart in you. So whether you believe or not in “god”, I “feel” and “know” that you are that which you say you don’t believe. How is that for some philosophy? (smile)

        It matters not to me what you do or don’t believe, and you won’t get an argument from me or try to persuade you into believing something else. No. That is not who I am. Who I am, I embrace you with Love, and accept you for who you are in this present moment. Who am I to tell you, that you don’t have the right ot think what you do? I admit, I don’t understand it, and since we are friends, I will be honest with you.

        So that all being said and done, your words portray something deep within you that is very connected to Source. So you can take my words for what they are worth. OK? I like that you live in India, and that you think differently. I just plain like you. How’s that? xx Amy

      • Thanks for accepting who or what I am. Who is the Higher Power ? I think it’s nature. I love human beings, animals, plants .. …. that’s it. I hate doing nature a personification. The nature is what it is. Everything happening in the universe is spontaneous. There is not such a man or a woman who is governing the world. They are mere tricks.

        Sorry , if I have hurt your feelings. It’s just my personal opinion.

      • No, Luv, you have not hurt my feelings. There is a Higher Mind, within All That Is. I don’t totally understand it, but it is all a part of us, a part of nature. We are all connected in ways again we don’t truly understand. There is “something”, and Energy, that we are all connected to. So hard to explain much less understand. That is why I avoid speaking of religion or politics. Everyone is entitled to believe as he or she does, and I refuse to strong arm anyone to say, no you are wrong. I accept you for you. Simple. Love, Amy

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