I’M NOT A COWARD

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Sometimes, life brings sad and gloomy moments for me. My heart sinks in the ocean of despair. My mind stands still with its mouth agape. My limbs turn handicapped. Seems I have nervous disorder. I feel lonely. I feel feel helpless. I try to be an escapist. I snatch my sheet from the bed and cover myself, from head to toe. I search for an abode in my deep slumber. I try hard and usually it avails nothing. I blame God. Why did He arranged such an unbearable condition for me?

AFTER A CONTINUOUS WRESTLING FOR 2 HOURS
Thanks God. You showed some mercy. I’m in deep slumber as I desired.

AFTER TWO AND A HALF HOURS
Am I my body? No, I’m a separate entity. No, I’ve gone insane.Maybe this is called hallucination. My God, I’m flying now! Yes! I’m soaring high in the sky. Like a hawk high in the sky. Like a seagull over the ocean. But where am I going? What’s this? Seems just like that palace I watched recently in a cartoon film. Lo! The door is opening voluntarily. A gush of wind enters behind me and has pushed me inside. My eyes are flashed. I’m unable to see now. Slowly, the light is reducing. I can open my eyes now. What a majestic personality! His beard like silver.
Eyes radiant but as cool as the moonlight. A shining crown on his head. His white rob, whiter than white. I’m scared. I’m to pee in my pyjamas. He opens his mouth. His lips split. He speaks and His voice seems like cool sea breeze.
“You’re scared, aren’t you?”He talks slowly. I couldn’t speak. “I’m your real father. I’m the father of your father and of your grandfather also.I have made this world and you are my sons.” I can’t understand anything. My legs are trembling. “Come here.” He says again. Should I go there or not? I should go otherwise I’m gonna die soon!

AFTER 4 OR 5 MINUTES
I’m sitting on his lap with my head leaning over his chest. How did this happen, I don’t know.
I feel so cozy right now. Never felt such a touch. It’s more soothing than the touch of my sweetheart.
” Why do you fear?” He asks. I’m weak, feeble. I reply back. He folds the sleeves of his robe just over his wrist. “Look inside.” He points toward His wrist. There is a tiny hole on his wrist. My God! It’s so deep, deeper than the Pacific Ocean! The red currents are visible there. It must be His blood for sure, I think. “This is Life Blood.When I create people, I pour my Life Blood in their veins.It aches a lot but I do this so that you can be like me” Like you? I’m left unreplied. ” Yes, you’re not weak.you’re my child nurtured with my Life Blood.You can win every battle because my Life Blood runs into your veins. Don’t be a coward. A father can’t see his son being a coward. Be a warrior. Fight. Struggle. You’ll win. If it’s impossible then I’m a liar. My world is a lie and you’re a lie. Fight my son,fight!” I’m stuck.

A SHORT WHILE AFTER…..
I grope my body in panick. Yes, I’m in my body. The same familier sound echoes in my ears, “fight my son, fight.”

AT 7 A.M. IN THE MORNING
I may stumble. I may even fall down but I’m going to win the race of my life, finally, because I am the God’s Child.

PAPA AND I (part-1)

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(A discontented son)

Papa, why are we not rich ?
We seem like morons, the life
with a glitch.
My conscience feels disgraced,
“Why I have no iPhone” feeling
suppressed.

Papa I don’t want to go to college
anymore,
“You possess no credit card” mocks that bloody whore.
I followed her everywhere like
a lunatic lover boy,
But she opted for a rich kid and
then my heart was like a broken
toy.

Papa, my miserable apparel
and my cheap sunglasses,
My second-rate gadgets
and my tawdry watches.

Papa, sometimes I look at
my classmates admiringly,
and sometimes surprisingly.
Some times I watch them
enviously
and sometimes lamentedly.

Papa, I hate you so much,
For the gutteral life you gave me.
I don’t want to be a worm,
a shoelace;
I blame you because in your
times, you proved yourself
a loser in every race.

NOSTALGIA

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After so many days,
Accidentally,
I passed through your street.

After so much time,
Unexpectedly,
I passed by your house.

My legs stumbled,
My lips mumbled.
My feet glued,
Past memories subdued.

My eyesight looked fixedly
at the rooftop,
But only some pigeons were
There to hop.
You were not there,
Not visible were your
fluffy black hair.

I missed your burning flying kiss
That killed me softly.
I missed your ‘I NEED YOU’ words libido rich
That aroused me mostly.

My friend patted on my back.
Tears were in my eyes and
The pigeons were dispersed.
“Let’s go from here” slowly he
whispered.

THE EARTH

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              One day,
While playing love game,
You unearthed your enchanting
body,
By uncovering yourself out of
the white nylon sheet.
I saw your little earth,
Apple shaped,
On which tiny tufts of grass
were visible.
Black and so beautiful.

I kissed them,
I licked them,
You moaned then.
My tongue dove
Into your fleshy gorge
between your grasslands.
Black and so beautiful.

A SONG FOR YOU

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Do you know I still cry for you,
Do you know I still wait for you,
Do you know how restless I am
for you,
Do you know I want only
you, you and you.

No matter what I am,
No matter what I can do,
But the only thing I can
do is to love
you, you and you.

I will tear my body apart,
I will make my blood flow,
I will be dying and breathing,
my last breath, but still the
only thing I will do is to love
you, you and you.